Since 1992 visiting doctors has become a way of life.
Through the years I've learned some doctor speak. I don't always understand it, but I've picked up words and phrases that mean something totally different in the non-medical world.
Let's start with, "Well, thyroid cancer is a GOOD kind to have." The theory here is that it is easier to cure than most cancers and the survival rate is very high. Thank God.
I'm a cancer survivor.
Then there is, "Fibromyalgia is not progressive." What the docs mean is that it is not progressive as in destroying body tissue. However, destroying quality of life is another story all together.
I went from some pain and fatigue to please God let me be able to move and get out of bed today.
But, in the last few months I've learned two new doctor speak favorites: super bug and essential tremors.
In early March I developed an upper respiratory infection. Well, this one hung on and on. And, I had a new complication from years past with this nasty bug, my throat was swelling shut. A trip to the ER that led to a butt load of meds and steroids.
As my pulmonologist was writing the second script for antibiotics she casually informed me I had a super bug.
Let me tell ya, there ain't nothing' super about it. I'm still recovering. It wore me down to where watching infomercials at 3 AM sounded like a good idea. I wonder if that steam cleaner works as well as they say, and I may just take up real estate?
Then there are the shakes. These involve both arms and my torso. I don't mean the little tremors you sometimes get when you've held something too long.
No, these are the kind where you could replace the milk shake machine at the local Mickey D's.
Another trip to another specialist. Neurologist.
She informs me I have essential tremors
Essential?
To whom?
I was doing just fine without them. Thank you very much.
More meds.
I am mellow.
What is your favorite doctor speak?
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